


In the Family Way

by nilyn (escherzo)



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Comedic Incest Baby Fic Oops, F/M, Implied Incest, Implied Underage, Pregnancy, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-06
Updated: 2008-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-18 15:30:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escherzo/pseuds/nilyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Tell them what? That you got knocked up? That <i>I did it?</i>” At least, Gerard figures, if their dad wants to beat up the boy who got his daughter pregnant he won’t have to go far. Down the hall, maybe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Family Way

Accidents happen. They just don’t think it’ll be a big deal until, well. Until it is.

 

Gerard comes into his and Mikey’s room one evening to find Mikey sitting on her bed, clutching something in a tight fist, face gone completely white.

“Hey,” he says easily, settling down beside her. She doesn’t look over. 

“What is that?” he asks, trying to uncurl her fingers and pry whatever it is out of them. It’s a stick—no, he’s seen one of these before. It’s a pregnancy test. Mikey is looking down at it as if she’s expecting it to attack her. 

“That thing’s… really not sanitary, Mikey.” Gerard says, taking it from her and getting a good look. It has a faint plus showing on it, and he’s not stupid, he knows what that means.

“So whose test is this?”

“Mine.” Mikey goes back to staring resolutely at the wall. 

“Why would one of your friends give—wait. What?” Gerard’s face goes white too and he makes Mikey turn her head, face him. “Yours as in actually yours. Please tell me you’re kidding. Oh God.”

Mikey looks down at the floor and shakes her head. 

“I—I’ll be back,” Gerard says weakly. “I have to go be sick.” 

Mikey kind of wants to say the same thing.

 

“We were thinking you two should get separate rooms somehow. If you want, I mean.” Their father brings it up casually over dinner, and Mikey can feel Gerard freeze up. 

This, of course, is because they’re holding hands under the dinner table. They’ve done it for years, and their parents haven’t noticed or at least haven’t commented on how Mikey eats with her left hand and does everything else with her right. Sometimes it makes her feel kind of sappy, but right now she appreciates the comfort.

“We’re good,” she says finally, sharing a glance with Gerard. 

Their father shrugs and goes back to picking at his meatloaf. “It was just a thought, but if you don’t want to, that’s fine. It saves us a whole lot of trouble anyway.”

The conversation moves on.

 

“At some point we’re going to have to tell them,” Mikey says, three days later. She’s curled up against Gerard, head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. The room is pitch black, silent except for their breathing and the steady beating of rain on the roof. 

“Tell them what? That you got knocked up? That I did it?” At least, Gerard figures, if their dad wants to beat up the boy who got his daughter pregnant he won’t have to go far. Down the hall, maybe.

“I could tell them it’s someone else. Or not tell them who it was.”

It’s silent for a long moment and then something occurs to Gerard. “It’s gonna be a mutant,” he says, almost gleeful.

”Jesus Christ, Gerard.”

“What? It might have superpowers or something, you never know.”

Mikey sighs and snuggles closer. “The next time you read a comic book where the hero was a weird incest baby, let me know.” She has the sneaking suspicion that Gerard is going to start drawing one within the week. 

She’s right—two days later she comes to find him for dinner and he’s sketching a panel with the main character and his mother and father. The mother and father look suspiciously alike, and when she asks Gerard says they’re fraternal twins.

She kind of wants to hit him. That or kiss him. It’s a familiar feeling.

 

Their parents find out about it almost four months later, because Mikey forgets to tell them.

Not about Gerard’s involvement in the whole thing, but that Mikey is pregnant, period. She’s been doing research, getting books, and one of them wasn’t hid well enough. Her mother presents it to her with a raised eyebrow and a look that makes her want to go hide in a hole and die.

“Were you going to tell me something?” 

Mikey swallows hard and wishes Gerard was home. “Those are mine, yeah,” she says finally, hoping that she isn’t going to get a lecture or worse, put in a separate room away from Gerard. Even if it is partly his fault. “I was going to tell you, I just… forgot.”

“How long?”

“Uhm.” And this is the incriminating bit, because she seriously just totally forgot. “Almost four months?”

Her mother just sighs and puts her head in her hands.

 

“Thought up any good mutant names?” Gerard asks one day, a few months later. They’re leaning against each other on the couch in the living room, relaxed. Their parents are gone for the weekend, out to visit a friend of theirs in Pennsylvania, so they have the house to themselves.

“Could you not remind me of that part?” Mikey asks, trying to focus on the beheading going on on the TV. If classical music played to an unborn baby makes it smarter, she wonders what liberal watching of horror movies does. Makes it a freak, probably, but that’s kind of a given.

“But it’s cool, okay.”

“It’s not going to be that cool when it turns out the baby has, like, no eyes or something. Not the X-Men kind of mutant. Seriously.” She rests a hand over her belly contemplatively, yawning. 

“Mikey?” Gerard asks, after a pause. “Who do we tell it I am?”

“What do you mean?”

“Mom and Dad are going to call me your brother, so—its uncle, but um. I’m kind of also its father.” He doesn’t bring it up very often, mostly because he’s still in denial that it’s his, that he actually got his little sister pregnant. He hates thinking about it, because put like that it sounds downright creepy. 

“We could always just say both.” Mikey shrugs.

“That’s going to go over well in kindergarten, I bet. ‘My mommy and daddy are brother and sister’?”

“We could always move to West Virginia.”

“I guess.”

 

Every name Gerard thinks up gives Mikey a headache.

They come up with a whole slew of them one day, sprawled out on the sheets on Gerard’s bed. Mikey’s belly is big enough that it gets in the way, but if they both lay on their side they can still both fit comfortably. 

“What about Glenn?” 

Mikey never should have told him it was a boy.

“Gerard. No Danzig. No comic book characters. Please. Spare me.”

“You suggested Billy,” Gerard says defensively. He gives Mikey a grumpy look, resting his head against the pillows.

“Not seriously. Billy Way? That’s kind of dumb. But… hey, do you think Corgan could work as a first name?”

“... Mikey.”

 

Gerard isn’t sure they’re actually going to let him be there when the baby is born.

At first, the hospital holds firm that only two people are allowed to be present, and though they admit that some hospitals allow three, they don’t—but when Mikey grabs the arm of one of the nurses hard enough to leave marks and spits that her brother is not staying outside, look promising violence, the doctors decide to bend the rules a little.

Gerard stands there staring the entire time, holding Mikey’s hand, while his mother murmurs anything reassuring she can think of. He has no idea what to say. This tops every weird thing he’s ever seen in any horror movie, ever, since he’s seeing it in person. If everyone is born like this, he doesn’t get why the human race hasn’t died out yet.

What the fuck, he thinks. What. The. Fuck.

 

They really don’t have a spare room in the house, so the baby ends up in a crib in Gerard and Mikey’s room, which Mikey finds strangely appropriate. Gerard stares for a good ten minutes when she first settles the baby in.

“That’s actually—he’s actually mine?” he says, watching its wrinkled little face as it breathes. “Did they say if, um.”

“It’s not a mutant. Sorry. I’ll try harder next time.” Gerard flushes a little at that, but doesn’t say anything.

“What’s its name?” 

“Um. Corgan.” 

Gerard looks dangerously close to laughing at any second.

 

Two days later, Mikey is rocking the baby, trying to lull it back to sleep after it woke them both up crying again. Gerard looks at it, eyebrows raised.

“Corgan. You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“Shhhh—delicate young ears here.” Mikey grins.

 

To Gerard’s disappointment, Corgan never gets any superpowers.

**Author's Note:**

> I WISH I WAS SORRY OOPS also if you're going to send me haterade for this please keep in mind that it's almost five years old now and if it hasn't changed by now it's probably not going to. Standard disclaimers apply also: obviously this does not reflect reality in any way shape or form and for the love of God do not Google yourself Mikey Way you will be _so sorry._


End file.
